The Moments That Define Us
by funhog316
Summary: Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along, Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone" Tony discovers his old partner, Kate Todd is still alive and living as Dr. Maura Isles, the Medical Examiner in Boston. Will the years that separated them be too much for them or will they rekindle an old love they never got a chance at?
1. Chapter 1

Washington DC awoke with a lazy start. The seagulls screamed and fought over scraps of junk and food they found littering the shores and bays. Pillows of smog and smoke rose up high in the sky, polluting the summer air with its toxins and chemicals. Drivers honked grumpily at each other; children grumbled as they made their way to their bus stops. But all in all, the morning was beautiful. The sun was shining and the clouds were lifting. Washington was slowly waking up. Nestled in the beautiful, up-scale neighborhood of Georgetown is where we find Tony Dinozzo. Very Special Agent Tony Dinozzo.

Tony groaned as his alarm clock shrieked at him to get up. He rolled over and slapped the machine off the side table, sighing with gratification as the noise stopped. He turned back over and closed his eyes, hoping to drift back to sleep. Just as he was falling back to sleep, his phone went off. Punching the pillow, he snatched the phone and growled, "Dinozzo!"

"Oh hey, Tony. We have a dead body at Norfolk." After almost ten years of waking Tony up to take on a new case, Agent McGee was accustomed to how he dealt with being woken up. It had been almost two years since Ziva left their team and lives. She was never heard from again. She never contacted anyone from the team; not even Tony or Gibbs. Ziva needed a new beginning, fresh from her past, her dark memories. Tony knew better than to go look for her again. She made it more than clear that the days they spent together were to be their last. Every man Ziva ever loved ended up dead. And she loved Tony too much to hurt him. So she walked away leaving the two of them broken hearted but alive.

"Send me a text with the address." Tony said, interrupting Tim's thoughts before hanging up on him. McGee sighed and did just that. Tony got up and stepped into the shower. He closed his eyes as he felt the warm water caress his body. His mind drifted to Ziva. Even though it had been years since Ziva left he still missed her; it was the same feeling he felt when he lost Kate Todd. The only difference was that with Kate, she never knew he loved her; he never told her. He told Ziva and she still left him. But he knew and understood why she walked away. But it didn't stop it from hurting like hell. It didn't stop him from missing her.

He got out of the shower and wiped the steam off his mirror only to see his 42 year old reflection looking back at him. He had begun to get a little graying hair around the edges and hadn't shaved in a while so his beard was growing out. Wrinkles were becoming more prominent around his eyes. His eyes that used to sparkle with the "Dinozzo charm" were now empty and tired. He never felt more alone. He worked his ass off for what? To become what? He had no wife, no kids. The only ones waiting on him to return home every day were his two goldfish, Kate and Ziva. His girls.

He wrapped his towel around his waist and sauntered out to see his little fish swimming happily around in their glass bowl. "I miss you guys" he told them as he squatted down next to the bowl. He had put Ziva's gold necklace she left him around the rim of the bowl; a silent reminder of the two women he loved and lost. To the left of the bowl was a picture in a frame of Kate's drawing of him. "I miss you two so much." He whispered as a single tear ran down his rugged face, disappearing in his beard.

Almost 400 miles away in Boston, Dr. Maura Isles was waking up. She yawned and stretched as she stared at the ceiling. Her toes curled happily as she felt them crack. She sat up and winced, the bright sun shining directly into her eyes. She was supposed to meet Jane for their morning run but she had a feeling Jane wasn't going to show up. She had gone to dinner with Detective Rafael Martinez and was supposed to call Maura after but she never heard from her friend so she assumed Martinez spent the night over.

'_Good for her._' Maura thought to herself. '_It's about time she gets over Casey._' She thought to herself as she padded off to the kitchen. Maura opened the shades to let the sun stream in. She began her morning ritual of coffee, a banana and plain yogurt. The Medical Examiner sat down at the table, deep in thought. Her mind drifted over the familiar dream she had just woken up from; it was a dream that had haunted her over the past 10 years. She was on the roof of the building; NCIS agents Leroy Jethro Gibbs and Tony Dinozzo were with her. She was Kate Todd again. Special Agent Caitlin Todd of NCIS.

When her biological father Paddy Doyle had resurfaced in Boston, the FBI had moved her into Witness Protection to work Air Force One. She had to remain hidden or she would be killed by Paddy's father and his Irish mob. She changed her name, her profession, hair color and became Special Agent Caitlin Todd. When Agent Gibbs and his team stepped into her life, she had transferred to their team. They became her family and a second home away from home.

But she did the one thing she was warned not to do: she fell in love. It made no sense to her. Tony Dinozzo was not the type of man she fell for. But somehow the Agent's charm; the way his green eyes sparkled at her when he annoyed her to death, the way he believed in his work and threw everything he had into it, the way he was able to make her laugh at the stupidest things and make her see the joy between the horrors of their job. Yeah he was immature and obnoxious and a playboy at heart, it made no sense and yet all the sense in the world. It felt so right. Deep down, she knew he was a good man with a kind heart and a wonderful personality which is what attracted her to him. But her logical mind told her it was wrong. She never told the man that she loved him; instead she hid her feelings and watched as he slept around with every other woman. She watched from the sidelines as her heart slowly broke for a man who would never be hers.

So when she dreamt of their last moments together, when she faked her death to return to Boston, it was only bittersweet memories. She left behind a piece of her heart that would never be reclaimed. She returned to Boston and threw herself back into her Medical work, stronger than ever. More determined to hide behind the logic of sciences and what made sense to her. Her love for Tony Dinozzo confused her more than anything; so she buried it away, deep in her heart and never spoke of it or him again. She worked side by side with Jane, Frost, Korsak and Frankie and slowly made herself a new family. But there was always a piece of her that would always love Tony. Which is why, she suspected none of her romantic relationships ever worked out.

She poured herself another cup of coffee, inhaling the rich aroma of the freshly ground coffee beans. She closed her eyes and imagined herself on the roof of that building. Before the fake bullet hit her, she had glanced one last time at Tony and saw in him the man that he tried to cover up every day: the strong man who took his job seriously. The man who would never let anything or anyone hurt her. The man she could see herself marrying someday. She trusted him with her life and she knew her "death" would hit him harder than he would let anyone know. She remembered hearing his voice crack with emotion as she laid there and Tony kneeling over her begging her not to die. She knew they wouldn't check her pulse. Fornell had made sure she was hit in the head. No one survives a bullet to the head. They wouldn't even bother to check. Her body was switched with the already dead FBI agent whom they had surgically changed to look just like Kate. And she was sent back to Boston to go back to her real life as a Medical Examiner. And she kept her secret love hidden in her heart. No one, not even Jane, knew about Tony. She couldn't bear the thought of talking about him when she knew she could never have him.

Maura sighed and went to rinse her cup before heading back to her room to get dressed for work. She was rummaging through her deluxe closet when her fingers brushed a book she forgot was stuffed in the back of her closet. She pulled it out and opened it. Maura caught her breath as she looked down at a younger, brunette photo of herself. The smiling face of Kate Todd looked up at her. Maura slowly sat down on the floor of her closet. Tony had his arms around her. She remembered that trip to Paraguay. It was then that she realized that she trusted Tony more than herself sometimes. He had her back. She loved the feeling of his strong, protective arms around her little body. Her head was on his shoulder and they were laughing.

Maura felt tears sting her eyes. She felt the familiar heart ache and she let the tears just fall. Her heart split in two for the man who never even knew how she felt. He was probably married with kids by now. Maura sobbed as she looked down at the photograph.

The sound of her cell phone ringing brought her out of her emotional state.

"Dr. Isles." She said, trying to maintain her composure. She listened as dispatch rattled off the points on the new dead body they found.

"Ok, I'll be right in." she said before hanging up the phone. She wiped her eyes and carefully put the book back. The doctor composted herself and got up to get ready for her day.

Special Agent Gibbs looked up from his desk to observe his Senior Field Agent. '_Tony looks worse today, if that was even possible._' He thought to himself. He watched Tony as he typed up his report. His face serious, his brow furrowed in concentration, his eyes hard with hurt and anger. But that was the look Tony had developed over the years, ever since Ziva left the team. Gibbs knew Tony loved Ziva, the same way he loved Kate. But he missed out on both women. Gibbs looked over to the desk opposite Tony and sighed. Kate sat there for 2 years before Ziva occupied it for the last 8 years. The old Dinozzo wasn't even there anymore. Sure, Tony was a damn good agent. One of the best he'd ever seen. But Tony was slowly becoming more and more like Gibbs: a lonely old man who spent his free time with his boat and a bottle of bourbon.

"Go home you guys. Get some rest." Gibbs commanded his team. McGee smiled with relief and Tony just nodded and packed his stuff. McGee made his way to the elevator and Gibbs was left with Tony. The older man walked over to his Senior Agent.

"Dinozzo. How are you feeling?" Gibbs said quietly. Tony looked up to see his boss looking down at him, his blue eyes full of genuine concern. Tony knew better than to lie to Gibbs.

"I just haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately." He told him. "I've actually been thinking more and more of, well… Kate." Tony admitted to Gibbs who looked surprised for a moment.

"You loved her didn't you?" Gibbs said softly, knowing full well how easy it is to fall for another agent. Tony bit the inside of his cheek and looked at the floor for a moment. "More than anything. I would have gladly taken her place up on the roof that day. I never told her how I felt. And then I tried so hard to not fall in love with Jeanne and that all went to hell. And then Ziva… I thought for sure Ziva would stay. But she left too. I'm just done with it, boss. I'm done getting my heart broken. I mean, look at me! I'm 42 years old and have nothing! I'm not married, I have no kids. You guys are my closest friends."

"You're a damn fine agent." Gibbs said quietly, his heart going out to the man he thought of as a son. Tony scoffed.

"Yeah. What good is that?" he replied in anger before brushing past Gibbs.

"Take the day off tomorrow, Dinozzo! You need it, I don't want to see you in here!" he called after him. Tony laid his head back against the elevator door and closed his eyes. He knew it was uncalled for to take his anger out on Gibbs. He only wanted to help him.

Gibbs sighed as he went back to his desk. He missed Kate and Ziva too but it was different for him. He didn't love them, not the way Tony did. Gibbs was like a father figure to them, the same way he was with Abby. He knew his team took the absence of the two female agents hard.

No one would take their places in their hearts.

Forty minutes later, Tony pulled up the front of his town-home. He got out, got his stuff and was about to go inside when he decided to check his mail. He looked around for his keys when something caught his eye. Kneeling down, he picked up the newspaper that was laying on the ground.

"Paddy Doyle's been caught? He was shot by a detective working for the Boston PD…. Undercover operation went south when Detective Jane Rizzoli shot Irish mob boss Paddy Doyle. Chief Medical Examiner, Dr. Maura Isles was Paddy's daughter and Jane's best friend?" he murmured to himself as he swept over the article. "That's gotta be messy." He shuddered. He knew how women fought with each other. He unfolded the other side and froze. The picture staring back up at him was a picture of the Chief Medical Examiner side by side with a picture of Paddy Doyle. But it was the M.E that made his heart stop.

Her hair was blonde and longer, but her eyes and her face. Tony would recognize her anywhere. It was Kate Todd, his old partner.


	2. Chapter 2

"No."

Tony shook his head. He closed his eyes and opened them again as if his eyes were playing tricks on him. 'I've been thinking about Kate so much that now I'm just starting to see her everywhere.' he told himself. But when he opened his eyes, the gentle hazel eyes he dreamt about for years stared back at him. But Kate Todd was dead. Tony gritted his teeth and stomped up to his apartment. He barged into his apartment, threw his bag down and fired up his computer.

_'Was someone playing some sick joke on him_?' he thought angrily as he picked up the paper again. _'Kate...'_ he thought as he looked down at her. "Dr. Maura Isles..." he muttered to himself as he typed the name into Google. Several articles came up, most about her medical profession. He scrolled through the pages, his eyes swept over all the medical reports published online of the doctor. The next several hours were spent as he read and reread all the information he found on her. He read about her past, her ties to Paddy Doyle, her adoption, her work but nowhere did it say that she was ever living in DC, worked for NCIS or went by the name of Caitlin Todd. He searched for Kate Todd but only found articles mentioning her death 8 years ago.

At around 2 am, Tony sat back in his chair, ranked his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes. He was exhausted; more than usual. None of it made sense. There were no records of the connections but the more he stared at the picture of Maura Isles, the more he was certain his mind wasn't playing tricks on him. Maura Isles was, without a doubt, Kate Todd but there were just so many unanswered questions. Who is she really? Is she Kate Todd or is she Maura Isles? If she is really Maura Isles why was she on their team under Kate Todd for two years before faking her death? Why did she fake her death?

Tony got up and went into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of bourbon. Sitting back at his computer, he slowly picked up the newspaper. "Why did you do this to me, Kate?" he murmured as he stared at her again. _'My God, she's gorgeous._' Tony thought to himself. He wondered what she was like. If she was still a badass who could put the fear in men. He chuckled as he thought back to when she beat the crap out of McGee. She might have been half their size but Kate could definitely kick ass and let everyone know she wasn't to be treated like a woman. Unless it meant she got the only room with the bathroom...

He stood up and felt the effects of the alcohol on his brain. Swaying a bit, he moved over to the couch and laid down, the newspaper laying across his chest. Tony looked over to see Kate and Ziva swimming lazily in their fish bowl. _'What does this mean? Did Gibbs know she was alive? What about Abby? Abby was her best friend._' And then the thought came to him: if they didn't know, would he even tell them? She clearly didn't want any of them to know she was alive. So many thoughts ran through the Agent's head before he finally drifted off to sleep.

Maura and Jane huffed as they finally made it to the top of Heartbreak Hill. "You still won't tell me?" the doctor pleaded with her friend. Jane turned and rolled her eyes at Maura.

"I'm not telling you anything because there is nothing to tell." Jane claimed.

Maura pursed her lips and sighed, knowing full well that if Jane wasn't going to tell her what happened between her and Detective Martinez then she would have to use her old but still sharp investigative skills to find out.

The two made their way back to Maura's in comfortable silence. That was one of the best things about the friends; they didn't always have to be talking to enjoy each other's company. And it allowed her to go back to daydreaming about a certain NCIS Agent. Maura wished she could get Tony out of her thoughts but lately, for some odd reason, he was all she could think about. She wished she had given him a chance back when she was living n DC as Kate Todd. But she knew full well not to get emotionally involved with someone there when she would have to come back to Boston as soon as it was safe for her. And for 8 years, it had been and she had been able to live here in peace. But lately her heart had begun aching for her old team mates and especially Tony. She missed their banter, their pranks on McGee, their fights.

But her fights with Tony were always in joking and harmless. She was never truly mad at him. She just liked watching him squirm. And then Gibbs would "Gibbs-smack" him. She smiled slightly as she thought to her days as Kate Todd. She missed Abby, McGee, Gibbs and Ducky. And her heart just ached for Tony. Her feelings for him would never go away. She looked them all up once a couple years ago. There was a new Israeli former Mossad Agent that took her place; Ziva David. And Tony was dating a woman named Jeanne. Maybe they had kids by now or something? Or maybe they broke up?

Maura smiled as she thought of Tony with kids. His childish antics and amazing protective skills would make him a wonderful father. But the thought of him being a father to some other woman's kids made Maura sad. She pulled her honey blonde locks back in a ponytail and wiped her silent tears. She was not a crier and no matter how many times Tony Dinozzo unknowingly broke her heart.

"You ok?" Jane asked her as she studied her friend. Maura nodded.

"I just got something in my eye."

Jane nodded but she knew that wasn't the case. Maura had been distracted and out of it lately. She knew something was going on in the big brain of her but Jane just didn't know what.

"I was thinking about taking some vacation time." Maura stated very matter-of-factly. Jane stopped walking and turned to Maura.

"What? Maura, are you sure you're ok? Since when do you take vacation time?" Jae was puzzled. But Maura kept her face neutral and replied.

"It hit me the other day that I had a lot adding up and I need to use it before the end of the year." she tried to remain logical.

"Ok... we're in the middle of a case. Do you want to wait till we finish at least?" Jane asked concerned for her friend.

"I'm going to call in Dr. Pike, he'll help you with the rest."

"Maura! Don't you dare call in that knucklehead!" Jane whined.

"You'll be fine! Play nicely!" she called to Jane as Maura took off, running away from Jane's anger that was sure to come at her after dropping her bombshell.

"I'm gonna contaminate all your DNA samples!" she heard Jane call after her. But Maura just laughed to herself. She knew Jane wouldn't. And she had bigger things she needed to do. She was going to go down to DC. Maybe this was crazy. Maybe this was irrational but she felt like this is what she needed to do. She had to see that he was ok. She had to see him.

The next morning Tony woke to the worst headache imaginable. He groaned and rolled over and was about to get up and get ready for work when he realized he had the day off. Gibbs didn't want him in work today. _'Good._' he thought. He was in no shape to work. He had fallen asleep with the newspaper still stuck to his chest so the first thing he saw was Maura's face looking up at him. He amused himself with the thought of what it would be like to wake up to the actual Maura. The fact that the woman he had been in love with for years was still alive and lied about her death gave him all sorts of mixed up feelings.

So he did the only thing he felt was logical. He went to go visit his favorite forensic scientist. Tony knew Gibbs didn't want to see him in the office today so he went straight to the lab keeping his head down, his newspaper tucked safely in his jacket. He stopped for her favorite Caf-Pow before making it down to the lab. He looked around for Gibbs and satisfied that he was not in yet, Tony stepped into the lab.

"Abby!" Tony yelled over the music and nearly jumped out of his skin when the bubbly, black-haired Goth jumped out from behind the array of computers.

"Tony! I thought Gibbs said you weren't supposed to be in today." she clicked her tongue at the Senior Field Agent, shooting him a disapproving look. Tony sighed.

"I know Abs, but I need to ask you something." he paused and looked to make sure he had her complete attention before continuing. "And I need you to keep this private. Meaning you can't tell anyone." he told her sternly, making sure she knew he was being serious.

"No one?" Abby repeated nervously.

"No one. Not even Gibbs." He said firmly. "Abby, I need to make sure you know how serious this is. You need to keep this to yourself."

Abby bit her lip, but she knew and trusted Tony for years so she nodded and crossed her heart. "I promise, Tony. No one will know about this." she told him, placing her trust in her best friend and "big brother."

Tony swallowed and turned, pausing and gathering his thoughts before turning back to Abby. "What do you know about Paddy Doyle?" he started.

A look of utter confusion crossed the forensic scientist's face. "Paddy Doyle? He's a legend; everyone knows of him. He's the head of the Irish mob who terrorized Boston for years on end. He was recently caught and waiting trial. Does this have to do with our case?" she asked him, completely baffled by the question.

Toy shook his head. "It's personal. Do you know if he had any kids?"

Abby shook her head. "I think he had a daughter that died at childbirth."

Tony nodded slowly. 'She _didn't die. She's been hiding from her father most of her life._' he realized. A thought crossed his mind. 'Ten years ago, when Kate joined their team _was when Paddy Doyle resurfaced. She must have been placed under Witness protection for her safety._'

His thoughts were interrupted by Abby laying a gentle hand on his arm. "Tony, what's this about? Why are you so interested in Paddy Doyle?" she asked hesitantly.

Tony swallowed and slowly took out the newspaper. He unfolded it and stared at Maura's picture for a moment before turning it around to show Abby.

Abby looked down and frowned before a look of realization at what she was looking at struck her. "Is that...? No... No, she's dead. Kate's dead! Tony Dinozzo, if this is one of your pranks..." she clenched her fists, her knuckles turning white. Tony took her hands and unclenched them.

"Abby, even I wouldn't joke about this. Kate is alive. She's been living in Boston this whole time under the name Dr. Maura Isles. She works with the Boston Police Department. The detective who shot and arrested Paddy Doyle is her best friend."

Abby was breathing heavily and began pacing the room. Tony stood by and watched, knowing she needed time to process this new information. She furrowed her brow and went to her computer. Tony knew Abby well enough to know when she was confused, she turned to science and forensics. He looked over her shoulder to see what she was doing.

"Abby?" he asked hesitantly.

"I'm pulling up Kate Todd's record. She's still in our database." she muttered to him. "It'll have her DNA filed in it. I'm going to run it, see what come up."

Tony nodded. they stood there in silence and waited for the system to pull up Kate's file.

"Here it is..." Abby said to herself before running it through the system. It didn't take long for her computer to beep at her.

"Dr. Maura Isles." Tony breathed. "So Kate was never 'Kate.' She was Maura Isles the whole time."

"This proves your theory that she was here to hide from her father." Abby said quietly.

"How did you know I was thinking that?"

"Please, I know you. I know how your mind works..." she said mysteriously.

Tony smiled slightly before turning to face the computer screen. His eyes swept over the Medical Examiner's face staring back at him. The face of his old partner, Kate Todd. The woman who had unknowingly held his heart for so long.

"She's absolutely stunning." he stated quietly. Abby studied her friend as he studied the woman he once loved.

"How come you never told her you loved her?" she asked him.

Tony smiled sadly. "I wasn't any good for her. I was immature and obnoxious and got too much pleasure from annoying her. She was looking for someone who could give her a good life, be a good husband. Perhaps a father, too. She wanted kids." he said, a tear slowly escaping and running down his cheek. His heart ached for the love he lost, the life he secretly wanted but missed out on.

"Do you still love her?" Abby asked.

Tony closed his eyes. "I never stopped."

"What are you going to do?" Abby challenged him. Tony furrowed his brow, thinking about it realistically before answering.

"I don't know." he said honestly.

But 30 minutes later he found himself at a familiar cemetery. The cemetery where Kate Todd was buried. He got out of his car and grabbed the single red rose and grocery bag. He felt the sun hit his face as he walked with a heavy heart to where Kate Todd's head stone was placed.

"Hey Katie... Maura. Whoever you are." he whispered as he squatted down. He placed the rose on her head stone and sat down. Even though he knew she wasn't even buried there, it just seemed right to bring her a rose. He always brought her one when he came to visit her grave. Digging through the grocery bag, he pulled out two boxes of Chinese food and chop sticks.

"I brought you your favorite." he said as he placed one of the containers by the head stone. Chinese food was their thing and just as he brought her a rose he also brought her Chinese food and left it at her head stone. He assumed someone came and picked it up because every time it was gone within 24 hours. He opened his own and began eating.

"I don't know what to think anymore. I thought you were dead. Why would you lie to me? Why wouldn't you tell me? You could trust me, you know? I could've kept you safe from Paddy Doyle..." he talked to her head stone. "I could've been a good husband for you. I would've been faithful. I never would've hurt you." he whispered, his voice breaking with emotion. "We could've had kids by now. We would've made some kick-ass parents." he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"We certainly would have." A voice replied from behind Tony. Tony turned to see a beautiful woman: blonde, wearing a pencil skirt, silky top and 6 inch stilettos. Her hazel eyes sparkled at him. He recognized her in a heartbeat.

"Kate." he whispered.


	3. Chapter 3

Tony scrambled to his feet, his heart beating a million miles a minute. Seeing Kate after all these years was not something he was expecting any time soon. He had barely begun to wrap his head around the fact that she wasn't dead. She looked beautiful; more beautiful that he had imagined. Her long blonde hair hung in neat, perfect waves around her shoulders and down her back. His eyes swept over her face, taking in every detail, every inch of flesh that was purely Kate Todd and yet, she wasn't Kate anymore. She was Maura but her hazel eyes still sparkled at him, her sweet mouth curved into that smile that drove him nuts. His eyes lingered on the light freckles that ran down her neck and disappeared into the top of her blouse.

"Kate..." he whispered again. "I don't... what are you doing here? I..." Tony was at a loss for words.

"Maura. My name is Maura Isles. But you know that. Or at least Abby does. She ran 'Kate Todd' this morning." Maura arched an eyebrow at Tony who nodded.

"How did you know we ran your name?" he asked suspiciously.

"Witness Protection keeps track of all aliases even after they come out of protection. They let me know Abby Scuito of NCIS ran my name. I'm assuming you know why I was living under Kate Todd then?" she asked. Tony nodded, still unable to take his eyes off of her, afraid that if he blinked she would disappear and he would be alone again.

"But why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you trust me enough?" he asked, his voice filled with hurt. "I thought you were dead all this time! I carried your casket! I thought you were..." he broke down. He looked down at the ground where her head stone stood. His tears flowed down his cheeks. "My heart broke in a million different ways that week. It was the worst week of my life. I didn't just lose my partner. I lost my best friend, I lost the woman I loved." he whispered, forgetting Maura was standing in front of him.

But Maura's heart skipped a beat at his words. _'He loved her?_' Maura slowly made her over to Tony. She didn't touch him but instead studied his face. He was older, of course. But it wasn't just the maturity, the years that she saw in him. His eyes were sad and tired, his hair graying, soft wrinkle lines were beginning to form around his sad eyes. Her heart went out to the man. The old Tony she had fallen in love with was gone. The young man, the skirt-chasing, lovable prankster was gone. Here was a man who had witnessed horrible events, lost the ones he loved, experienced the pain and suffering in this world. She longed to put her arms around him and hold him, but she knew the emotional roller coaster he was on right now.

"Tony." she said gently. "I never meant to hurt you. Never. But I couldn't tell you, I couldn't have you in my life, even when I moved back to Boston." she told him.

"Why? Why not? I wouldn't have told anyone else. I could've helped you." he pleaded for answers.

But Maura shook her head. "It wasn't that. I have no doubt you would've protected me. But it wasn't that."

"Then what?"

Maura bit her lip and gently took Tony's face in her hands. She ran her hands over the stubble beard he was growing, her thumbs caressing his face.

"Because I fell in love with you. And that scared me more than anything. It made no sense to me. You weren't supposed to be so charming and sweet. I wasn't supposed to fall in love." she told him, her hazel eyes brimming with tears. "So when they told me it was safe to go back to Boston, I didn't tell you, I didn't tell anyone. I left and went back to my sciences and logic that made sense to me. Even this, coming back here after all these years to see you, even this doesn't make sense to me." she explained, hoping he'd understand. "But I never forgot you. Not a day went by that I didn't think of you."

Tony took Maura's soft hands in his. His thumbs glided over the soft feminine hands. "I loved you, Maura." he confessed. "I was in love with you. And I could never tell you. You were too good for me, you were pure and innocent. You deserved a good man who would give you everything you needed, everything you wanted. I was just a young, immature school boy who liked pulling your pig tails on the playground." he whispered to her. Maura blushed at his words and looked away. But Tony tilted her head up and gazed into her eyes.

"I don't know where I am right now. I need to figure out what this means for me, for us. Until yesterday I didn't know you were alive. Please don't think I don't want you, because my God, I've wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you. I never stopped loving you. But I need to figure out who I am and who I want to be. Because I can guarantee you, the man I am now is not the man you fell in love with. I spend my evenings with a bottle of bourbon and my fish. Please give me some time." he pleaded.

Maura nodded and ran a finger gently down his jaw line, tracing the strong bone there. Her fingers ghosted along the side of his neck, pausing to read his racing pulse.

"Maura..." Tony groaned, unable to hide the emotion in his voice. He ached to grab her and pull her against him. Maura smiled at him. She allowed her eyes to meet his, the emotions running so high that neither could think straight. Tony's strong hands gripped her waist and gently tugged her to him, his face inches away from hers.

"This shouldn't happen." Maura whispered as her arms wrapped around his neck, his scent pulling her in, consuming her.

"A lot of things shouldn't have happened." Tony argued as he dipped his head, catching her lips in his. Maura gasped and Tony took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside. Their mouths hesitantly explored each other. Maura knew in the back of her mind this was irresponsible, illogical, and dangerous. They weren't supposed to be this close. Especially after not seeing each other for almost a decade. But Tony's strong arms held her tightly and his tongue was exploring her mouth making word formation very difficult. Maura pulled back a little.

"We shouldn't. Not if you need space to figure things out." she told him, trying to be reasonable and logical. Tony gritted his teeth but nodded. She as right, as usual. But feeling her in his arms, her body molded perfectly to his, her arms wrapped around him, it was heaven and he didn't want it to end. Her hair smelled of jasmine and oranges and he immediately vowed to find out whatever shampoo she used and go buy some.

"I missed you. I can't believe you're here. I can't believe you're alive." he whispered as his hands ran down her back, feeling her flesh under them. "I never stopped loving you. Even when I loved Ziva, you were still on my mind." he confessed.

Maura buried her face in his strong chest and closed her eyes, listening to his heart beat. "I missed you too, Tony. But I need to go. And you need to figure out what you want and what you want to be." she said, giving him an opportunity to let go of her. He released his grip on her but still couldn't take his eyes off her.

"Promise I'll see you again." Tony pleaded with her afraid that she was going to disappear again. Maura's eyes softened at the vulnerable side of Tony she had never experienced. She reached in her purse pulling out a piece of paper and pen. She scribbled down something before handing it to Tony.

"This is my phone number, address and work address. You know how to reach me, how to find me now." she promised him. "I love you Tony, but you're right. We both need to figure out what we're doing now. We can't just pick up after 8 years. That kiss... it made me realize I need to figure things out too." she confessed. She reached for him on last time, feeling him wrap his arms around her waist. Maura placed a soft kiss on his check. "I promise you'll see me again." she whispered against his mouth.

Tony closed his eyes, reveling in the feel of the woman he loved for so long finally in his arms. "I'll call you or something." he mumbled, his face buried in her hair, not sure how long he was going to need to pick himself back up after beating himself up for the past two years since Ziva left. But he was willing to put himself back together for Maura, for what they could become.

Maura slid out of his arms and moved to look down at her headstone. "I'm so sorry for all the pain I caused you guys." she apologized. Tony took her hand, unable to stop touching her soft skin. "We never forgot you."

Maura smiled sadly before turning to go back to her car. "Call me when you're ready. I can't guarantee I'll be ready but at least I'll know you are." she said before walking away. She felt the tears slide down her cheeks as she walked away from Tony. She couldn't look back at him. she could bear to see his face.

Tony stood there watching her leave. Maura... his Kate. This whole situation just seemed so unreal to him. Here she was, alive and well after eight years of thinking she was dead. And here she was again, walking away from him. But as he looked down at the piece of paper she had given him, he realized it was different this time. She wasn't dead and now he knew where to find her. He had some soul-searching to do and so did she. But that was to be expected. They couldn't just pick up where they left off 8 years ago. He wish they had more time together but all this was just too much for both of them, it was too emotional. They needed time apart. He watched her get into her car and drive off but the feeling of loss was slowly leaving him. He wasn't losing her, she was giving him the space he asked for.

Tony looked up to the sky and felt the sun hit his face, the breeze gently ruffle his hair. He smiled and felt the warmth spread through his whole body. Maura was his and she wanted him too. He looked down to the headstone and realized she had taken the Chinese food he had brought for her. And for the first time in a long time, he laughed, truly laughed, till his sides hurt.

He was going to be just fine.

Several months had passed since the day at the cemetery and Maura had still not heard from Tony. She had returned to Boston and after explaining her sudden absence so Cavanaugh, she had been back to working cases with Jane, Frost and Korsak. She tried very hard to keep her mind focused on her work but Tony filled her every thought. She mind constantly drifted back to him. She knew they couldn't pick up where they left off and that he needed his space to figure out everything that was going on. But she hoped he didn't forget her. Or maybe he didn't want her anymore? Maybe he was angry with her? _'Well, I did kind of lie to him for 8 years_.' she thought to herself as she bent over the dead body on her autopsy table going on with her work.

Tony sat at his desk, his mind off in the cemetery with Maura as it did almost every time he got some spare time. He was supposed to be finding the dead Petty Officer's financial records but instead he'd rather think about Maura and the amazing kiss they shared. She had kissed him back and put her arms around him and it was heaven. And he knew how to reach her. But he had to make sure. He knew he wanted her more than anything but he had to make sure they could make this work. It was going to take time and that was something that he needed to give her too. He had returned to work with his new secret tucked safely away. No one but him and Abby knew that "Kate Todd" was still alive or living in Boston now. Or that she was never Kate Todd to begin with, that she was Maura Isles the whole time.

Tony looked up to see a family come through the elevator doors. He assumed they were here for another team's case but he watched them. The wife was crying as she hugged her husband. Whatever had happened to them must have been very traumatic. Maybe he was almost killed or his wife was kidnapped by the suspect...? Whatever the case was, Tony watched as the couple reunited. They held each other close, holding onto each other like their lives depended on it.

"Daddy!" Tony heard a little girl exclaim and he watched as the man hugged his daughter, lifting her up and holding her too. The small family looked happy but it made Tony sad. He wanted that. And he wanted it with Maura. He envisioned the blonde haired beauty walking through those elevator doors wearing her high heels and pencil skirt he saw her in. She would be holding a baby in one arm and holding the hand of another child, possibly a 4 year old little girl.

"Daddy!" the little girl would run to him and Tony would pick her up and hold his daughter and watched in awe as his beautiful wife approached him, a smile on her sweet lips, her hazel eyes sparkling at him and their newborn son cuddled up in her arms...

"Dinozzo!" Tony jumped as the sound of Gibbs' voice broke through his daydream. He looked up to see Gibbs standing in front of his desk glaring at him.

"You in there, Tony? You've been spacing out again." Gibbs said angrily. But Tony shook his head, clearing his head.

"Sorry, boss. It won't happen again." he mumbled. Tony ran his hands through his hair before looking up again to see the couple kissing and still hugging each other. He pulled the slip of paper out of his pocket that had Maura's contact info on it. He looked over to see Gibbs and McGee going over the points of the case. Tony looked back at the couple who were now holding their little girl and laughing through their happy tears. And in that moment, Tony made a decision.

Gathering his stuff, he made his way over to Gibbs. "Boss, I need to take a couple personal days." he said out of the blue. McGee paused, slightly in shock of Tony's behavior. Gibbs half studied and half glared at his senior field agent. But he knew in his gut that whatever was going on with Tony was important to him and Gibbs trusted him.

"You sure, Tony?" he asked quietly. Tony nodded his head firmly.

"I need to take care of something." he replied. Gibbs nodded and even though he was very concerned about Tony, he knew he would be fine.

Tony left the building and made his way back to his apartment. He quickly packed a bag and left again.

Maura was sitting in her office, alone. She had sent Jane home saying she needed to get some work done and if Jane kept pestering her with her annoying questions, she was never going to get it done. But the complete truth was that she needed time to think about Tony. She hated that she had become the kind of woman that spent her time thinking about a man, but she couldn't help it.

She hummed to herself as she carefully brought out her DNA samples to categorize before going home. She was so busy with her work that she didn't notice the two men that exited the elevator.

"Dr. Isles, you have a visitor." Maura spun around startled to see Frost standing there with Tony Dinozzo.

"Tony!" she exclaimed, her eyes immediately brightening. Tony grinned like a little school boy at the look Maura was giving him. She was happy to see him.

"Let's catch up later, bro! Don't forget to stay in touch!" Frost said as he noticed the happy expressions on his friend's faces. Maura was confused as Tony hugged Frost.

"For sure, man! It was good catching up. Next time you're in DC look me up! We'll grab that drink you owe me!"

"Wait, you two know each other? How?" Maura interrupted, feeling slightly panicked that her two lives had already collided and she didn't know about it.

"Tony trained me like 10 years ago in Baltimore before he went off to join NCIS." Frost exclaimed. "Wait... how do you two know each other?" Frost asked as he looked to Tony and then Maura who froze, feeling the hives begin to appear as she thought up lie after lie.

"We're just old friends." Tony answered for her. Frost nodded, picking up on something more but deciding to let it go.

"See ya later, Tony! Good night Maura." he said before leaving the couple.

Tony turned to Maura who was nervously biting her lip.

"I see you still have that adorable habit." he observed as he took a step towards her. Maura stood still, waiting for Tony to make the moves. He gently took her hand and pulled her towards him. Maura relaxed in his arms but kept her eyes on his.

"I want you, Maura. I want us. We can work this out. These past couple months I've realized what I want. I can't stop thinking about you and what we could have together. I could be an amazing boyfriend, I swear. You once told McGee that you could see yourself married to me. What if we were together? I'm different now, I'm more mature and I've done a lot of growing up. You can count on me. I want to be the man you can rely on, the man who makes you happy. I want to know everything about you, the real you. Not Kate Todd but Maura Isles." he took a deep breath and leaned over to push a stand of her hair behind her ear. "I would do whatever it takes to have you, to make you fall in love over and over again with me." he promised her.

"Please give me a chance?" he begged her.


End file.
